Sharing leads to purchasing

Last night in my networking group, we got into a discussion of content rights and how companies are trying to protect themselves from unauthorized sharing (ala YouTube). Several people, including myself, made the argument that with the staggering amount of content available these days (online, radio, TV, cable, theater, video, mobile, etc) it's impossible for people to find content the old-fashioned way. We're often told about it by a friend. Given the right push, we can become serious consumers of this content but it sometimes takes a little bit of free content.

Today, I had lunch with an old friend and we were chuckling about how, sometimes, a whiff of something at a restaurant will take us back to our food service days (sometimes grossing us out). He sent me this hilariously relevant video, "Waiters Who Are Nauseated By Food."

I was almost in tears it's so funny, and at the end, I read some of the comments and found my proof of how a bit of free content can spawn a purchase.

Problem is, people aren't necessarily purchasing the content companies might want them to. The content actually has to be good and desirable. Maybe that's why many companies don't mind getting a little "free" publicity on YouTube. They know their users will spread the word, get hooked, and purchase. It's the ones with crappy content that should be worried.

By the way, remember what people said about cable back in the day? That people would never pay for television when they could get it for free. But they did pay. Then they said people wouldn't pay if there weren't any commercials. But they kept paying. People pay because cable has the best content. Ultimately, quality is all that matters.

Daylight Savings is for bureaucrats

This is going to sound crazy but I *swear* that since the Daylight Savings time change I have not been able to go to sleep until an HOUR past my normal bedtime and I can't wake up until an HOUR past my normal waking time. Even on the weekends, I sleep an hour later than I usually do, no matter what time I go to sleep. I started a new job the Monday after the time change and I've been late every day, arriving past 9:30 AM. I had no problem showing up at 8:30 for an interview there two weeks before.

So I'll ask the question again that I've asked many times before. What business does the government have messing with the time? Don't they have better things to do? Leave the time alone! According to Wikipedia, biorhythms are fiction, a product of psuedoscience. How disappointing. Well, no wonder it's okay to mess with the time. It's just a clock after all, it shouldn't ACTUALLY have an effect on a person's ability to go to bed earlier and get up earlier.

Apparently, the governments of the world have put a lot of thought into this hundred year-old idea and have determined it valuable despite protests of farmers, Arizona and people like me. Come to think of it, I'm too tired to protest.

I'm going mobile

My first project at the new job is a WAP site for a theme park. I've heard about short codes, seen American Idol and know that people can download things to their phones (and are apparently pretty excited about it). In other words, I don't know anything about mobile. So I got online (where else!) and found some amazing resources, thanks to dotmobi (an independent industry group).

They have a blog, a developer's guide, a list of .mobi sites to check out, and the coolest of the cool, a mobile site simulator where you can interact with these sites online as if you were on a phone! I'm so excited (and grateful for dotmobi!)

Diving in now.

Amazing Planet Earth

Every month, I hit the gym with my new Wired magazine and read it cover to cover. Even things I don't think I'll find interesting, I become engrossed in. Last month, they featured an article about new camera techniques, made possible by HD video, that allowed photographers to capture footage of animals in nature better than ever before. The techniques were used for a miniseries running now on the Discovery Channel called "Planet Earth."

If you haven't seen it, it is breathtakingly gorgeous, awe-inspiring, and simply amazing. I think it's so fantastic that we have used our awesome technology to record the wondrous beauty and fascinating complexity of our planet. Quite simply, this footage is like nothing you've never seen before.

I was giggling hysterically at the sped up footage of hundreds of gelada baboons in the Ethiopian Highlands all following the same daily agenda. My jaw hit the ground at the extremely slowed down footage of a great white shark LEAPING out of the ocean while swallowing a whole seal in a split second. And I was wowed by the aerial view of a MILLION caribou, the largest traveling pack of animals on the planet, streaming across the tundra, pursued by wolves.

It's available for pre-order at Amazon and I've already secured my copy. You can see some of the fantastic-ness in the meantime on their official site.

It's good to be wrong

I'm on season three of The West Wing and I LOVE THIS SHOW. It's a show for smart people, about smart people. The dialogue is so quick, so sharp and filled with humor but you have to be fast to get it. One of my favorite things about the show is that these people, including the president, make mistakes.

They're passionate, opinionated and always trying to do the right thing but often they end up being wrong. But sometimes they're RIGHT. And just like you can't succeed if you don't fail, you can't be right if you're never wrong. People make mistakes because they're doing something. People afraid of failing or making a mistake, don't do anything at all. Who would you rather be?

At my last job, everyone was so afraid of making a marketing mistake. "What if we offend someone?" "What if someone doesn't get it?" "What if?" "What if?" They didn't know what was going to happen. It's not like they had done any market research or even knew their current customers well enough to know what they'd respond to but the fact is, if you don't take a chance, you won't engage anyone. You'll just have boring, innocuous advertising that no one will ever see or notice. (But you probably won't offend anyone!)

Milk Gone Wild!

OMG, this is fantastic! Only PETA could make a health statement, protest the mistreatment of animals, satire sexism, and be totally hip and kind of sexy at the same time. I agree with the user who posted that it's demented. It is, but in the best kind of way.

A girl who knows how to handle herself

I went out for drinks last night, close to my house, so I walked. Since it was night time, I walked quickly and with purpose. A young woman came out of a restaurant and walked in front of me for a while. She was thin and had on very high heels that made her whole body wobble a little. She was walking very quickly too, almost running, and her long dreadlocks seemed to be weighing her tiny body down. I heard hooting and hollering from a bunch of guys from across the street. The more they cheered, the faster she walked, stumbling and almost falling at one point before ducking into a parking garage. The moment she did, hoots of disappointment came from across the street and then silence. A foot behind, I was invisible.

I told this story to my dad and he said something about how some women walk in a very feminine way while others don't. What does that mean, feminine? Does it mean delicate or in a more vicious way, weak? Fragile? Instinctively, are men drawn to the "weaker sex," when they're easy to catch?

This scenario played out like a pack of hyenas chasing an injured antelope, struggling with a sprained ankle to keep up with the herd.

The more she hurried and stumbled, the louder their hollering. Yet they paid me no attention. True, I was marketing myself as a woman who's capable and not a victim (I didn't have a car to stumble into) but it has never had anything to do with attractiveness. From the distance they were at, she could have been a transvestite! All they saw were heels and wobble. Raaaaaowr.

Analyze THIS

A few years ago, everyone knew they need an online presence. Companies started taking their offline marketing budget and throwing it online marketing. Web agencies flourished and big ad agencies scrambled to make alliances with smaller web companies to outsource the work to.

All marketing departments were getting the directive:
Put up a website, make some banner ads, get the top search engine ranking, send some emails. "Hell, send a LOT of emails."

Last year it went more like this:
Do some promotions, put up some mini-sites, make banner ads to promote the mini-site, do viral marketing. "Hell, does anyone even know what viral marketing is?"

What marketers like about the web is that you can track user behavior. They like being able to say that a million people watched their video on YouTube. And it does indicate a higher level of interest than say, a million people seeing your billboard on Wilshire Blvd. However, it doesn't tell you much more than that. You don't know why they watched it, whether they sent it to a friend, what they said in the email to that friend, or whether (ultimately) they're more likely to be a customer.

Think of it like a car lot. You've got cars sitting there and people drive by. Sometimes they stop. Sometimes they park get out, come into the office, tell the salesman what kind of car they want to buy and actually drive off the lot with it. Would you attribute any of that behavior to your sign on the side of the road? No.

Would you want to know the background of each customer with the product - their exposure, beliefs and feelings - AND the exact details of their conversation your salesperson? The ones who bought, the ones who said they'd come back and the ones who showed no interest? Yes!

So the web has given marketers a lot of exposure and a bunch of numbers, and even some interaction. How many people just drove by. How many stopped. How many bought cars. Unfortunately, it isn't telling them very much about their marketing and they know it. Now, the marketers' bosses want to know "What's our ROI on web marketing?" because they've been told that everything can be tracked. But it's not like they could ever measure their ROI BEFORE on billboards, print ads, radio and TV commercials.

So analytics becomes very scientific. You have to form hypothesis - known as use cases - what do you think people are going to do? Track it, find out. Make educated guesses as to what's happening. Tweak it and track it again. See, analytics aren't to show ROI, analytics are to improve your offering to your customer. Analytics are what brings the marketer into the user lifecycle.

Lifecycle marketing 101

Most agencies are still doing one-off marketing. We make websites! We make banners! We make ads! And even worse, companies are hiring them to do it. So you think maybe the marketing managers and brand managers hiring these agencies are thinking about integrated marketing and working these pieces into their user lifecycle. Not so. They're paying another company to produce web analytics that don't tell them anything valuable. And the agency isn't helping them! They are making decisions about whether to continue a website or campaign based on them. And the agency is letting them! They're leaving out email and letting an entirely different department make those marketing decisions. And the agency isn't stealing that business!

Selling is not a one time act. You don't knock on a person's door and convince them to buy something that they've never heard of before. Doesn't happen. They first have to read about it, hear about, see their neighbor using it, and be asked to buy it (maybe many times) before they even consider it. That's the acquisition phase.

Once they've considered it, you're in very valuable territory and this is where most marketing strategy breaks down. You have a captive audience that wants to know more (even if they aren't aware of it). All you have to do is push them past that point to convert. That's the conversion phase and it's the most crucial and the most difficult.

After that, a lot of marketing strategy disappears. We sold a widget, yay! Let's celebrate! Why stop there? Why not sell a hundred more widgets to the same person, or better yet, get THAT person to sell a hundred widgets for you by being your evangelist? That's the retention phase. All together, it's the user lifecycle.

The user lifecycle is a living growing thing that changes constantly for each customer. A marketing strategy has to be able to tailor it's approach at any given moment based on the feedback (analytics) about the consumer's behavior. Banner analytics change the website, web analytics informs email and other CRM pieces, data from those emails in turn feeds changes to the website, and the revised website dictates the content of the next round of banners. It's all interconnected. It's not easy so think BIG and start SMALL.

When to give up

Leaving the new job yesterday, I noticed (for the first time) that I'm next door to my ex-boyfriend's work. I was thinking about how bizarre that was and thought "well, maybe he's quit that job by now." After all, it's been six months. But then I remembered, this guy couldn't even turn off a movie that he wasn't enjoying. He watched until the bitter end, no matter what.

I used to say he was "addicted to possibility." As long as there were still options, he could never make a decision. He could never say "I'm going to do this, and that's that." He would have to ask everyone for their opinion and even then, still couldn't decide. Our relationship for example: he didn't know if he loved me (even though he once thought he did) and he had to ask his dad what love was. A 34-year old man was asking his dad to tell him if he loved me! In the end, I was the one who did the leaving because I'm the opposite. I'm 100% in or I'm 100% out. Yes or no. I know what I want and I fight hard for it. But if it turns out to be the wrong thing, I'm out.

How does this relate to marketing? It reminds me that bad marketers spend all of their efforts trying to sell these people - the masses of undecided, unfocused, and unsure. They still haven't learned that most people don't make buying decisions because they don't make decisions. They emulate the people who make decisions. And that's why you sell to THOSE people. To the ones who are smart, savvy, educated and make decisions. They're a different group for every product - you have to know who they are, and you have to sell to them. Market to the unsure and you've insulted the decision-makers because they're smarter than you are.

I'm official (gulp!)

Technorati Profile

What makes a video campaign viral?

Just started the new job I'm not afraid anymore. But I am excited! The CEO came by my desk and we chatted about video campaigns. He showed a couple of successful (in terms of views) examples in the Monday Meeting. But what makes content virally successful? Is it just the entertainment value? Or does it matter where it's hosted? Are people more likely to watch a video on YouTube than on a corporate site? While people know that they're watching professionally produced content on You Tube much of the time, I think there's a thrill in the fact that they "found" it.

One of the funniest videos I've seen is an interactive video for Coke Zero (think Subservient Chicken). I only saw it because a friend of mine is the actor in it and forwarded to me. Otherwise, I've heard nothing about it and it's never been forwarded to me. Because it's interactive, it can't be hosted on YouTube but it's amazing to me how often I see a lot of production going into a concept but the whole "viral" component is completely missing. How did they intend for this video to circulate?

I think companies think these things just magically become viral. They don't. There's too much content on the Web for things to just be found. You have to get the ball rolling yourself. Then, if it's entertaining, relevant and accessible, it might become viral. Or not. Entertainment is not an exact science and more than ever, people want to be entertained.

An example of a site with crazy functionality but very bad exposure was to advertise The Simpsons. The contest was to create a trailer for their Halloween special using provided video clips, audio effects and music. The online editor was pretty good, not terribly accurate, but good enough to hook me. I spent several hours after work one day creating my trailer. Then what? I couldn't find it. I couldn't send it to a friend to rate it. I entered my email address but never received an email! I didn't even get a notice that the contest had ended. Nothing.

Too often, companies are sold on a cool idea but someone forgets to make it relevant (see my earlier post Faking It) or viral. To see an example of simple and really effective content, check out Church Sign Generator. I first got this on Friendster (before MySpace!) several years ago and it was just the first design shown. This obviously isn't selling anything, but can you see how this concept could?

Not a thrill seeker, just living with fear.

Reading Seth Godin's book "The Purple Cow" made me realize that the company I was working at accepted that their product was mediocre and it would never be remarkable. It's what made it possible for me leave. I didn't give up, I just got wise. I spent eleven long months trying to make it better, trying to inspire others to make it better. All I did was open their eyes to the madness and now they're either miserable that I've left or they've left with me.

Seth Godin, in his blog, describes people as thrill seekers or fear avoiders. I start my new job on Monday and although it's not exactly what I want and it's not exactly the biggest stretch, there are things I don't know and obvious challenges ahead. I am afraid. I wouldn't categorize myself as a thrill seeker and yet I'm clearly not a fear avoider. I CHOSE FEAR. I'm someone who lives with fear and merely aspires to be a thrill seeker.

I need to be challenged and dream of working with people who are smarter than me and yet I live in fear of actually finding that situation. This might be it! (But it probably isn't. Come to think of it, I was afraid starting work at the last company and that turned out not even to be a real company.) So what am I afraid of? Someone finding out that I'm not as smart as I think I am.

Maybe I am a thrill seeker!

"The smartest and most able among us..."

I heard a brilliant commentary on NPR from Ted Koppel about the Bush administration letting go the US Attorneys. It so eerily reminds me of the work situation I just got out of. The incompetent people at the top HAVE TO maintain loyalty to each other, and to the status quo, in order to keep their jobs. People like me are squeezed out in favor of less qualified people who are more likely to support them.

He starts out: "Watch out for governments that put a greater emphasis on political loyalty than they do on competence and creativity."

Imperial Life in The Emerald City, a book about the "bloated American bureaucracy" in Baghdad's green zone, talks about the "young inexperienced people given extraordinary responsibilities for only one apparent reason" their active roles in the Bush for President campaign.

Ted Koppel says: "That they were unqualified and incompetent seemed to disturb no one at the White House."

Uh-oh! This isn't some online personals company like my former job, this is our country! It's normal, he says, to give preference to one's party but when lives are at stake, we should all be worried. He draws comparison to the subject of The Lives of Others, a German film about the Secret Police listening in on people's conversations.

"Where partisanship becomes dangerous," he says, "is when it is valued over ability. When failure to follow the party line results in the rejection and dismissal of the smartest and most able among us, when key jobs are filled by people whose only qualification is political loyalty."

Replace "political" with "corporate" and you've probably described most of the corporations out there. It's fabulous, his inflection is genius and so funny. Have a listen.

Horrific horrifying horror

I was at the video store with my dad, looking for a film to rent. Every third film, it seemed, was a horror flick. And I don't have to tell you that most of them are about pretty young women being victimized. I picked up one called Rest Stop and made the mistake of reading the back. It's, as I guessed, about a woman tortured by a sicko after stopping at a rest stop...something about a box of tools and a saw (!)

I guess what makes it so SCARY and, I shudder to say, APPEALING, is that it actually happens and women are really afraid of that. Hmmm, I wonder how often it happens. Or are women disproportionately afraid because of movies like this? Why is a woman's fear so appealing?

A few minutes later, my dad picks up the movie The Virgins of Juarez. "This is a good movie," he says, "YOU should see this." I figure that he's making reference to the fact that I'm a feminist, something he hasn't always been too supportive of. He explains that it's a true story of women (young, I imagine, since they're VIRGINS) who are abducted in Juarez, Mexico, raped repeatedly and then KILLED. Disposable sex toys?! I feel myself getting physical ill in the video store as he goes on. "Minnie Driver plays a reporter who goes down there to get the story and this girl," he says, pointing to someone on the cover, "was buried alive but manages to escape."

I'm so horrified, I don't even know what to say. Why should I see this movie? God, how sick. How awful! My brain is spinning. Who are these people? WHO abducts little girls and rapes and kills them? WHO?! Normal men just walking around decide to do this? How can a society have such a low value on the life of a woman? How can a society care so little about women living in fear?

My mom had mentioned an article in the paper that morning (it was a weekend with the parents) about a 15 year old girl who met a guy online. She agreed to meet him somewhere and was kidnapped. He and HIS FATHER kept her in their apartment for a week and raped her. FOR A WEEK! She managed to escape, apparently, and they got caught.

That night, I had a nightmare about a serial killer, a duffel bag full of warm bloody body parts in Ziploc bags, and a series of films the killer had made while killing each victim. This was a nightmare because I was in charge of solving these crimes and had to watch the movies. I couldn't sleep for two nights afterwards.

So, the other day I was at the beach, on the walking path. Every time I heard someone behind me I jumped a little, startled. I notice that other women do it too, when they're approached. I saw a couple of guys laughing at a woman who was startled by them. Does a man even know what it's like to feel like a potential victim walking around? Sure, sure, it's a state of mind. BULLSHIT. With so much real violence against women, why do we need fictional violence?

Let me ask a question. Why is it that fictional terror is entertainment while the real terror is a challenging think piece? For example, Blood Diamond featured little boys getting body parts hacked off. COOL! Last King of Scotland is about a dictator who was a mass murderer...way better than Zodiac. That guy wasn't even REALLY a serial killer. Or what about The Virgins of Juarez? I mean, isn't that right up horror alley? Can someone explain this to me?

Cancer Zero

I've been seeing graffiti that I can actually read lately. I mean English WORDS, sometimes even strung together in a coherent way. I always remember graffiti just being a name (of a gang? a person?) or just some made up word, or not even being able to make out letters. Above the freeway, someone has written "Sex Crime Money Fame" or something like that. What is that? Some kind of commentary? And then I saw this "Ins Cancer Zero" on the back of a truck. Is it a reference to our broken health care system?



I was thinking how genius it would be to actually use graffiti to advertise. Paint up the side of trucks with your message and park them all over town. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than a billboard and let's face it, everyone tries to read graffiti. But just as I was thinking I was clever, it occurred to me that maybe I had this idea because someone is already doing it.

Happiness sells (more than sex)

I walked on the beach today. I had the week off between jobs and took the opportunity to visit the beach without the crowd. I put on my running shoes and clothes, grabbed my iPod and headed out. It was glorious.

I was feeling so good that I was singing out loud, I think I skipped and danced a little while I was walking, and at one point I found a swing set. I blasted my tunes and swung into the big blue sky for a good half hour with a huge smile on my face. There are times in life when I thank God I'm a woman and able to do things like that without being considered a freak. (Then again, the men are in charge and they could change the rules if they wanted so I don't feel too sorry for them.)

Anyway, I got claps, cheers, waves, smiles and nods of encouragement. I was happy and people wanted to show their support. About 500 yards away, a gorgeous model in a sexy dress was being photographed. She didn't get any attention. (I don't feel sorry for her either).

Money is so gauche

In addition to not being smart enough to hire me, the VP that interviewed me for the position at the company "doing something I was really excited about" was offended by the fact that I took the other position "because they offered more money." How GAUCHE to consider money when looking for a job! Apparently his comment that "we're doing something noble here" should preclude me from even thinking about this job in the same terms as every other job - challenge, enjoyment, perks, money.

Unfortunately, he missed the point. My four hours of interviews and three glowing references should have been his indication of my level of interest. I mentioned the pay cut to EMPHASIZE that I was willing to make that sacrifice for this position (talk about noble). I waited a full 24 hours after my final interview for the job offer. It never came, so I took the other job. I'm glad I did too.

Word to the wise: It's just as important for a company to pitch you. You're more valuable than they are. Without employees, they're nothing and don't you forget it.

"We're doing something noble here."

A true sequence of events in my job search:

FRIDAY
I find a company doing what I want to be doing and I say to myself "I want to work for that company!"

TUESDAY
I get a job notice that this company is hiring! The job is not exactly what I want to be doing but I really want to work for this company. I send my resume and a nice letter.

THURSDAY
At a networking group and I mention it to a friend. Turns out, her boyfriend knows the VP that's hiring the position.

FRIDAY
My friend's boyfriend refers me.

TUESDAY
A woman at the company calls me and right away tells me the position pays thirty thousand less than I'm currently making - something that has been a concern for other applicants. I tell her I'd like to consider it anyway, since it's something I'm so interested in. We talk for an hour and she's wonderful.

She sets up an appointment for me to interview with the guy I'd be working for.

WEDNESDAY
She calls to say that he wants to see me sooner and moves the appointment up.

FRIDAY
The day of the interview, the VP changes the time and I'm kept waiting 15 minutes. By the time I get in the room with the guy, we only have a few minutes as he has another appt. He asks me to follow up with some details in an email.

MONDAY
I send the requested follow up email and mention that I considered this job despite the $30k pay cut because I expected to be excited by his vision but our mini-interview didn't allow for that. I also add that I've been offered another job and if he's interested, I'd like him to call.

I get a response right away. "Very impressive" it says. Then I get a call. It's him. He apologizes for giving me so little time before but explains that they're working on very important things.

We talk for an hour and he asks me a lot of high-level questions, the kind of things that no one in his price range would have an answer to. I'm not even sure most people in MY price range would have answers. He scoffs at my other offer, retorting that "we're doing something noble here."

He says they're making a decision by Thursday and after probing, says they're considering me and one other person.

I get an email asking for the names of three references.

TUESDAY
I get emails and IMs from my old bosses telling me that they've given me glowing reviews and I should be getting the offer soon.

WEDNESDAY
An email from the VP states that I got three "brilliant references" and will be getting another call to interview with some more people.

The subsequent interview is a joke, two ladies who don't feel it necessary to explain who they are, what they do at the company or why they are part of this hiring process. They start with "so tell us a little about yourself" and I'm starting to think after going through all this rigmarole there had better be an offer at the end of it.

THURSDAY
I receive NO follow-up to the last interview. I wait 24 hours and then send an email saying I really enjoyed meeting them, the company is doing some great things but I've taken the other job.

I receive a very quick reply "Okay, thanks."

Billboards of naked women

I moved recently and my new work commute is mostly freeway. It's a much nicer commute, even when there's traffic because everyone on the freeway is doing the same thing, more or less, going straight ahead. But one thing I just realized that I don't encounter anymore are the billboards of naked women (and bad TV shows). There was a period of time when I was outraged, every morning, by a barrage of skin and bones Mischa Barton, giant breasts in a guys face for Two and a Half Men (they're raising a kid, get it? it's HILARIOUS!), an extreme closeup on a models pouting lips (selling a car of course) - well, you get the picture.

But then today I saw this billboard:

Whose genius idea is this movie? I don't even know where to start. We've got two actors known for choosing bizarre/bad/downright tacky roles, a white girl on a chain held by a much older black man, the follow-up film from the white director of "Hustle & Flow" (also a depressing movie with degrading female roles) and the name "Black Snake Moan." I presume that is supposed to sound as sexual as possible with the black snake of course being his penis and the moan is what happens when he uses it? Am I the only disturbed by this? I don't know, I guess I'm one of those people who wants a film to be uplifting, liberating or jeez, at least a meaningful commentary on something. Maybe this is but I will probably never see it.

Why do we have to work?

I've interviewed for a couple of good positions but I've already given notice. YAY! I'm free! I got an offer from one company who really want me, they want me to start right away and they're offering me good money. However, there's another company that's doing something I'm really excited about but they haven't made me an offer yet, and they're putting me through the ringer. Apparently, even though it pays thirty THOUSAND less than the other position, a lot of people really want this job.

So even though I'm free, now comes the stress.

Here's what I'm dealing with.
1) I don't want to work at all. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WORK?
2) I'm leaving an easy job that pays well because I can't settle into the mediocrity like everyone else.
3) I'm terrified to take the job that really wants me because there's so much responsibility.
4) I think I really want this other job but I wonder if I'm an idiot for wanting it.
5) I had to put off the good offer even though they wanted an answer right away and I had to lie to do it. And I feel awful about that.

People's perception of the job search isn't much different from their perception of relationships. Do I want the job I haven't been offered because it's harder to get and I haven't been offered it yet? When I tell people about the job, there are people who are just happy for me. Others encourage me to keep looking - there's so much out there. And some people think it's okay to keep one in the dark while you investigate your options but that makes me feel like a cheat. Isn't that weird? Everything is the same.

A story for The Purple Cow

The Purple Cow is a great book about the uselessness of "marketing" your product. Instead, focus on making your product remarkable. A remarkable product sells itself.

So, one day I wake up and I can't move my neck. It's not the first time this has happened. I've had chronic neck soreness. A couple of years prior I visited a chiropractor after one of these sessions and he asked me how often I wake up with neck pain. "Uh...every day" I answered. Apparently, that is not common. The chiro adjusted me, I didn't feel better, and he wanted me to come back at least six times without explanation. Needless to say, I didn't.

Cut to present day and I was at the gym and on the way in, said to myself, "I need to find a chiropractor." Then I see a couple of ladies giving a demonstration on myo-something having to do with the stiffness of my muscles around the spine, pulling the spine out of place. Turns out there's a chiro in the gym and the next day I had an appointment.

I went a couple of times and the first few sessions were focused on educating me about my spine. I watched videos, I read pamphlets, I was x-rayed. While waiting for my appointments, I read testimonials. After a couple of treatments - adjustments, massage, ice packs, stretches - I'm feeling better. I was presented with a bill for a year's worth of treatment. Guess what? I bought it. THAT'S good marketing.

I'm a thoughtful observer

I clicked on one of those top banner links in Gmail one day: Clandestine Careers with the CIA. Who wouldn't click on it? Clandestine just happens to be one of my favorite words. So I clicked on the banner and it took me to this hilarious site, a personality test by the CIA (just for fun!)

Top 10 signs you may not work for a real company

My work friend and I have spent the last year trying to figure out what's wrong with the company we work for. In every conversation we make reference to how different it would be in a "real" company.

Here are the top ten signs that you may not be working for a real company either.

10. You've heard people discuss leadership and vision like children killed in a tragic fire.

9. You've had three or more bosses in a one-year period and at least one of them was fired.

8. You've watched people get made-up titles for positions that have no job description and that no one held before them.

7. When people leave, no one is ever hired to replace them.

6. More time is spent celebrating birthdays, attending HR training and being updated on new policy (all of which are mandatory) than doing"work".

5. There are no performance criteria to be measured against at your annual review. If you're a "real" person working at this fake company, most of your discussion will revolve around how you can better play with others.

4. The CEO is someone who is rarely seen or heard from. During the annual presentation of how well the company is doing, he makes more references to powerful people that are his friends than to any of the employees.

3. The company has no tracking in place to optimize their efforts. Questions about budgets and profits are met with horrified looks.

2. You're the only one surprised that there are entire departments consisting of one person.

1. Everyone is always asking "Whose job is it to..."?

Faking it

Advertising just doesn't work anymore. The Purple Cow is one of the best books on this subject. Consumers are saturated and advertisers are trying to come up with ways to make their marketing relevant, integrated, organic and personalized. The Mini Cooper has based their entire brand on personalization. Get exactly the car you want, design it online, you're unique, "Build your own Mini."

But a lot of what goes on in the world, not just in advertising, is a phenomenon I call faking it. It's where a person or company sees something valuable but they don't understand WHY it's valuable or how it works. They copy it but because they don't understand it, the copy is wrong and it fails. So at the moment, everyone is doing the personalization thing but they don't necessarily get it.

One of the worst, in my opinion, is "Say it With Altoids." It's this bizarre banner ad and mini site campaign where you can write a haiku and send someone else's haiku to another person. Why on earth would anyone other than "Bryce" want to receive "Bryce, choose Sara, she deserves it. Hillary"? And the process of submitting one and having it approved by Altoids so you can go BACK to the dumb site and find it, is just ridiculous.

The New York Times wrote that Wilkes University just launched a really fun personalization idea - they're using actual applicants names in their ads to convince students to choose Wilkes. Watch here.

A friend in the company of enemies

The first season of The West Wing is so fantastic. I can't recommend it highly enough. I've never watched a TV show that was at once entertaining, moving and educational. I'm so inspired to get back into politics and have a renewed interest to listening to anything the president's staff has to say on NPR in the mornings. In fact, I'm more interested in what the president has to say and I haven't listened to that guy in years.

There are so many quotable quotes and I'm constantly thinking how much this show reminds me of my work situation. I work at a mediocre company with a mediocre product. The company was once different and new and made money so no one ever told them that they were doing it wrong. No one ever pointed out that promoting from within can be a bad move if no one working there has ever worked anywhere else. No one ever thought competitively or wondered how to get ahead because they were already ahead. And then they weren't. And now they really aren't.

I've become really good friends with a co-worker there - we've bonded over our mutual brightness and too-good-for-the-company-ness. But despite hating it, we've given almost a year of our lives out of some kind of nihilistic desire to fix the place. We have succeeded but the change and growth is at such an incremental level. It's like getting crumbs that keep you from starving to death but all the while, you're starving. Just not to death. But almost to death.

We're praised for our good ideas but swatted back into our place if we challenge someone else's ideas. We're "allowed" to work on projects the way we want but then given no support so it's more work than it's worth. Sometimes we're just flat out attacked or insulted for being who we are. One night watching The West Wing a character said to Charlie, the president's aide who was the target of an assassination attempt for dating the president's daughter:

"If they're shooting at you, you know you're doing something right."

Damn right.

I've become a LaLa evangelist

LaLa was in Beta long before I got on. In fact, I was invited by a couple of friends months before I tried it. I didn't feel like looking at something new. I get invited to try stuff all the time. Join this! Do this! Be my friend! It's tiring and much of the time, nauseating. I can't even keep up with email and phone calls. So the idea behind LaLa is this: Trade your CDs with other people, the more you send, the more you receive and it costs $1.75 each.

One day I was at my mom's house and she said something about how she had so many CDs she had to start putting them in boxes so she didn't even know what she had anymore and she was pretty sure she didn't like many of them. She also kept a list of music that she wanted to buy and for months I had been telling her to make a wishlist on Amazon so I could buy them for her. All of a sudden it clicks. I'll trade them on LaLa for CDs that she wants! I joined in October and in four months I've traded 156 CDs and almost completely overturned my CD collection. My mom gets a stack of new music every time I visit and she's thrilled. I've become a LaLa evangelist.