You write like a man

My friend Paul posted this cool test (uh, several years ago) that I always meant to take but I suppose didn’t have the writing to. Basically it counts the number of times certain male/female indicator words are used in a piece of writing and determines the gender of the author. I decided to run the test on ten recent posts that have enough words. Here are the results:

“Fun sucking technology”, what to me seems like a totally female rant, comes out male.
Female Score: 1035
Male Score: 1114

So does “More protests” please!
Female Score: 1208
Male Score: 1245

“Uncivilized” squeaks out as female because guess what? “Not” is a female word!
Female Score: 1654
Male Score: 1653

But one about being scared? Male!
Female Score: 1027
Male Score: 1180

“Landing on my feet” is female too, and “was” is a female word. What are they trying to say?! That women are negative and talk about the past?
Female Score: 701
Male Score: 690

“A post I started in December” turns out female thanks to the word “and.” I guess we’re inclusive also.
Female Score: 937
Male Score: 906

"How to be on camera", my “how to” post, is overwhelmingly male thanks to heavy use of the word “are.”
Female Score: 1367
Male Score: 1480

Even though I use the word “with” (another inclusive female word) more times than any other in “Addendums to earlier posts,” it comes out male due to a consistent use of the male words “more,” “the,” “is,” and “a.”
Female Score: 1341
Male Score: 1588

Finally, “Dying to get here,” comes out male. My use of the male word “what” gives “with” a serious run for her money but still doesn’t catch up.
Female Score: 2553
Male Score: 3378


6 of 10 tests think I’m a man. Maybe I’m just “balanced.” BTW, I'm on vacation until May 5 and will hopefully have a slew of new posts. See you then!

Getting screwed in Hollywood (it's true!)

About a week ago I got an email from the writer of a short film I produced and directed. His first feature had been accepted into Sundance and he was so excited. I’d heard about this project since the inception, it was something he would have loved for me to direct but it would have been a difficult sell: a novice director managing a 5-10 million dollar movie written by a first-time writer. (When a writer’s first feature is produced, she/he is called a “first-time” writer because it’s their first time being produced - not writing as the term implies).

In hindsight, had I been more aggressive, I could have probably secured a meeting with the producers and they may even have liked me. I helped the writer with a couple drafts of the script and I had a certain passion and vision for it. Ultimately, though, the job of directing went to a husband-wife team that had the connections to cast the film with people you’ve heard of and in Hollywood, casting is everything. I got frequent updates from Ross. He had a feeling from the beginning that he was going to get screwed in some way. The dynamic duo fancied themselves writers and took turns ruining his script. They turned a totally interesting character, for example, a Mexican-American descended from migrant workers who secretly produces a great wine while working for another vintner, into a petty thief. The stories made me ill but all along, his feeling was give a little, get a lot. His first feature was being produced after all and he was thrilled!

A few days after the email about Sundance, I was on the phone with him and found out that the Writer’s Guild had just arbitrated against him and he’d lost writing credit on his own script! He was absolutely outraged. Years of work, completely erased. His friend who produced the project sided with the directors because he was afraid of retribution even though all along, his script was preferred by the producers but they apparently felt powerless against the people with the connections. His producers were independent money folks and not seasoned industry producers but my friend is an attorney and comes from an industry family! His father is the creator of several classic sitcoms and the writer of hundreds of TV shows.

How is it possible for a guy with that kind of background to get screwed? I think it’s because he was willing to be screwed a little. You give an inch and they’ll take a mile. He didn’t fight because he wanted his movie made, and his instincts were right. It’s not easy to get a movie made and not uncommon for writers to be taken advantage of, but at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is the credit. Credits lead to bigger and better projects. Without a writing credit, it’s like it never happened. If you get another chance, you’ll still be a “first-time” writer. This is why you hear stories of people suing a studio, becoming a drug addict or going into hiding after an experience in Hollywood. Let's hope he sticks it out, live and learn my friend!