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Monday, August 20, 2007

Being the me no one else can be

I slept until almost 10:30, even though I was asleep before midnight. I packed almost my entire apartment this weekend with some help from a friend and took my last long walk on my beach, met friends for my last lunch at Le Pain du Quotidien, missed my last yoga class with my favorite teacher, and heard the church bells ring for the last time.


Now I'm sitting here kicking myself for not being able to think clearly for the last two weeks. When I thought my car was still going to be in the shop, I had bought a ticket to fly to San Jose thinking I would drive up with some things once I was actually moving. There were all these airport and car logistics so when I got the call that the car was ready, I canceled the flight. It dawned on me today that a) I really don't want to drive today, b) I'm already so late I've guaranteed myself a spot in South Bay rush hour traffic and c) I should be flying. I could have waited until 24 hours prior to cancel the ticket giving myself time to decide but I didn't.

I'm reading The Devil Wears Prada which isn't very good but the description of how the main character appears to the rest of the high-falutin' fashion people at the office and her first celebrity party makes me wonder if the girls at the massive agency (who work for ME by the way) were making fun of me when I wasn't there. I probably will have to splurge on some wardrobe items before going to Sundance just in case I meet the hottest eligible bachelor on the planet when I'm there. And after cracking open Season 6 of The West Wing on Friday night, I have already plowed through five episodes and a tear of gratitude fell for this show. CJ Cregg is the best character on the planet and now she's playing the first female Chief of Staff of the White House (there has never actually been a woman in this position), and she's amazing. I love that she's in totally in over her head but rises to the occasion, and somehow I think these two fictional characters (based on real people) have a lot to teach me about being able to kick ass as oneself in a new situation. I just hope clear thinking comes back to me soon.

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