Ask and you shall receive (but maybe not when you expect)

I must have been asking the universe for too many different things at the same time because in the last year jobs, opportunities and men have come and gone but none seemed like the perfect fit. They all were close to but not quite what I wanted. And yet now I realize, they all had their purpose.

Last year, I first considered giving up acting for a guy, then for a job and eventually happily quit acting. Then a friend got me another job that would bring my resume up to date, and with a real salary, I was able to pay off all of my debt in three months. In January, things got serious with a guy who lived in San Francisco and he asked if I would consider moving. I started questioning what my purpose was in Los Angeles, now that I wasn't acting, and remembered that I had always loved the Bay Area. Despite having just landed in Santa Monica and having my own apartment for the first time in six years, I was feeling done with Los Angeles. I decided I would take the leap but the relationship ultimately didn’t work out. Two months after taking another job, I was laid off.

That's when the major soul searching began. What kind of job did I want? Where did I want to live? Would I ever have the relationship I wanted in Los Angeles? I committed to a couple of film projects, told a man that I loved him and then, I took a job I didn't really want. Two days later, I got a call for a job that would change my life. A recruiter I had worked with before called to say she had my dream job. It sounded like exactly what I had been looking for, a senior level job that would require my marketing and film experience.

I shuffled time, missed sleep and stretched the truth to find several hours two days in a row to interview. I had to explore this opportunity, but I also wanted to be realistic. I had a job, a good job, and I needed to take ownership of it, despite this dangling carrot.