Funded by the neighbors

I moved into a new apartment about five months ago. It's a small building, eight units I think. I've met all of my neighbors except an elderly couple in the front of the building that I've seen and said hello to but haven't actually met.

Today I was home for lunch and saw the old man laying out parts of a fan to dry on the grass. There probably isn't a soul in the world other than me and this old man who would take apart a $10 fan to clean the dusty parts. I said "Don't you wish they made them easier to clean?" and he came over to talk to me.

"How do you like the neighborhood?" he asked. I told him I love Santa Monica, love my apartment and I was very happy there. He said when he moved in 35 years ago, the rent was $65/mo. (It's now about 25x that now.) "The average age, back then, of the tenants was 85."


He asked me what I did and I tried to explain it but he's in his late eighties, could even be in his nineties. I recognize the thin skin, the watery pale eyes, the scraggly eyebrows of the very old. He seemed to be slightly hard of hearing but otherwise in good shape. "So, it involves computers?" he queries, trying to figure out my job.

"Is that a good investment opportunity, you think?" What's that, I ask, my company? I feel kind of bad, he has this air of I don't know what, desperation, like he doesn't get out much. I shrug it off, "not really, I mean it's just a small company." He must think I work for Google and I'm going to give him a hot tip.

"See, I know people who have money and they're always looking for somewhere to invest it." Okay, WHAT? First of all, what kind of money can these people have when they're washing a $10 fan? Which, by the looks of it, had been washed quite a few times. The plastic was deteriorating from age (not unlike my friend here). Second, why do 85+ year olds need to invest? Is it possible that the next potentially ten years of their life are not taken care of? Third...WHAT? Have you ever heard of 85 year olds asking someone whose NAME they don't even know if they have something to invest in?

"Well, I'm also a filmmaker," I said "and filmmakers always need money." I laughed, half-joking. He was still listening. "High risk, that is, but you never know. What kind of films do you make?" Huh, he actually knows what he's talking about. So I reply "I've got a low budget comedy, I'll give you a script. Do you know how to read a script? You have to use your imagination, pretend you're watching a movie." I was trying not to be condescending but I was just dying to know what this guy's deal is.

I asked his name. "J.D." he said, "...from the Midwest. We only need initials there." Ah. Here are the scenarios that I imagine can explain this situation:

1) He and his old lady are con artists. Young people come and go but the old folks stay in the building. They're those types you see in the movies who take advantage of other con artists - people who would listen to this offer and think "aha, I can take these geezers for everything they've got!"

2) He's totally insane. His friends have like $10 each and they sit around talking about the stock market like they're millionaires.

3) He's a pervert trying to score with a young bird. Maybe if he offers me some money, he thinks I'll take off my clothes. Worth a shot I suppose.

4) He's totally on the level and by some crazy twist of fate, I'm actually going to get to direct a movie funded by a corps (no pun intended) of geriatric investors.

What do you think?