Until the violence stops

I just watched one of my Netflix recommendations, V-Day: Until The Violence Stops, a documentary about the movement born out of Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues; a worldwide movement of women reclaiming their bodies, their dignity and their power. I can’t believe, as an actress and a feminist, that I’ve never seen it. From former comfort women in the Philippines – teenage girls who were forced to “service” six to eight Japanese soldiers a day for more than two years during WWII – to Africa where a single woman started a revolution against female circumcision, the movie reminded me of just how powerful words can be.

I recently debated with a young documentary filmmaker about the power of images versus words. While I think one of the most powerful films ever made, Baraka, is a purely visual film, words are what change the world: the law, the constitution, marriage vows, prayer and the words “I love you,” which never lose their power. It takes a native man in North Dakota, during one of the local productions of The Vagina Monologues, a full three minutes to stop his face quivering enough to thank the audience for coming and honoring the native women killed by their husbands in domestic violence. It is so painful to watch the suffering endured by men and women, abuser and abused, in this cycle of violence. This particular man abused his wife for the first three years of marriage until (and this is implied) he killed his two-year old son who was trying to protect his mother from his father.

The last two men that I’ve dated told me that their last serious girlfriends had been sexually abused or raped, and at some point the dysfunction became an issue in their relationship. I’ve heard this story so many times, in fact, that I wonder why men don’t realize that most women they know have been abused, raped or at least sexually harassed at work or school. After the primaries, I told a good friend of mine that I felt guilty supporting Barack instead of Hilary. I can’t help but think that only a female in charge will bring attention to the violence against women the world over. There is, of course, no guarantee that Hilary would do any more in that regard than a man, but the fact that one half of the population is still so routinely victimized by the other half, across cultures, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds, and I’m sorry to say, in ways that are insidiously considered “normal,” is unacceptable.

Ironically, I was watching this film on the 10-year anniversary of V-Day and there were a slew of performances and celebrations last month, some are still going on. The monologues are the best way to see what it’s all about but if you can’t see a performance, or organize one yourself, you could always get the DVD. I would like to think that men can watch this and be just as moved, and not think "it's a women's issue." This is a worldwide problem that affects all of us, and we all can do something to stop it.