Landing on my feet

My ex-boss was at my house the other day to tape his segment of the goodbye video I was making. He’s also leaving the company. He watched the video and said that it was bittersweet; clearly everyone believes the best days of that company are behind them. He said that I wouldn’t really understand, as someone who’s never questioned their path. Say what? “Well,” he said, “in my interactions with you, you seem like someone who just goes where the universe takes you.”

I couldn’t believe it. Really? I assumed he meant because I dropped everything and moved to the Bay Area for a job. Then he continued, “I mean, I know you’re disappointed about this job but I really think it brought you to San Francisco for something better.” It remains to be seen but I sure hope he’s right. He asked me how the job hunt was going and I told him about this company I was interviewing with. Oooh, he said, they would look great on my resume. It struck me that maybe he was right. I’ve never taken a job or even considered a job based on how it would look on my resume. I’ve done things that I think would be fun or because it was something I wanted to learn.

Before I left Seattle for LA, I was offered a job as to start up an account department by a friend and ex-coworker. I turned it down, saying that I was going to be an actress and move to LA. My friend said he didn’t care how long he had me but I should come. When I thought about it, he was the best salesperson I knew and I ended up taking the job so I could learn from him. I stayed for two years and then went to LA. Ten years later, I’m still trying to live that experience down, in a way, because people want to keep me in that box. My resume defies definition, which isn’t usually a good thing. One company I interviewed with, the last time I was unemployed, told my recruiter “I didn’t know what I did.” In reality, they didn’t know what they wanted and were hoping my resume would tell them.

I asked my friend and co-worker about my boss’ comment. She concurred that I do seem like someone who goes with the flow and doesn’t get stressed out about things. Isn’t that amazing? I certainly don’t feel like that. She said, “it’s not a bad thing, like you’re just a flake or lazy, you just seem very confident that you’ll land on your feet.” Now that’s a phrase I’ve heard a lot. But what kind of person needs to always be landing? I know many people who never seem to fall but I’m falling all the time so thank god “she lands on her feet,” eh? I guess I have always been terrified of life always being the same, and maybe that stability is something for me to always strive for while keeping things interesting in my own unique way.