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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's never too late to be what you might have been

I just finished reading Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, and like his previous books, The Tipping Point and Blink, it's a fascinating look into why things are the way they are (one of my favorite subjects!) In Outliers, Gladwell debunks the myth that people are successful because of their "individual merit." Using established research and case studies, he shows that culture, family, luck and timing are powerful factors in whether a person is successful. It's very interesting and it made me think quite a bit about my own culture, family, luck and timing. It's not a self-help book so there isn't a chapter on "What to do if you didn't get the right combination of the four factors" but he does demonstrate that knowledge is power and if you understand who you are and how you came to be that way, the more you can change the outcome.

Here's an example from the book, very briefly encapsulated. In the nineties, Korean Air had three times the number of fatal accidents of any other airline and was on the brink of being shut down. It was discovered that because of the culture and the language, the co-pilots were not able to directly tell the captain when there was a problem. Here was an issue that would seem to stem from mechanical or technical problems but was actually a cultural problem. It was solved in two ways. One, the roles were switched so that the captain was in the co-pilot's seat and the junior pilot would fly the plane. That way if there was a problem, social protocol did not prohibit frankness. Two, the language of flying became officially English. Without the social stratification built into the language, it was easier for everyone to speak plainly without fear of offending.

As you might expect, people who are nurtured in their talent and interests while young, tend to be successful in those areas especially if culture, timing and luck were also on their side. It can be difficult, if not impossible, as an adult to put yourself in a situation where you can get the practice and confidence necessary to be good at something new. If that pursuit goes against how you've been raised or your culture, it is also more difficult. Or if you're born in a time when that field is extremely competitive, it will take more luck to get in. Luck is what you call all of those times when you were given access to equipment, training, contacts, information, money, a mentor or some other leg up that other people didn't get.

It's probably not a coincidence that I started this blog at around the time that I stopped acting and went back to work in marketing. I knew that I wasn't yet on the right path and must have known that the blog would help me focus on that quest. In another stop on the journey of self-discovery, I've just this week turned down what is basically the best job offer I've ever had. The non-profit that I had been working for pro-bono asked me to be their Director of Marketing and Communications, a brand new position. I had presented a plan for how to strengthen the brand, establish processes for the company and develop a strategy to grow the business over the next couple of years. I would have worked with some of the brightest and nicest people I've ever met and been able to make a tangible difference in education.

The problem is that marketing is not the path I'm supposed to be on. It's something that I'm naturally good at but no matter how much I accomplish, I never get any satisfaction from it. At the same time my inner critic keeps wondering why, if I was meant for something else, I'm not already doing it. Why is it so hard for me to know what I really want? I found the answer in Outliers. People who are successful are assisted by external forces in such a way that they don't have to wonder what they are supposed do with their lives. Mozart, Bill Gates, Michael Phelps and almost every movie star there is, were doing what they do when they were children. They had discovered their talent -- or it had been discovered for them -- and the four factors colluded to put them on a path to success before they were even old enough to ask what they wanted to do. In reviewing my life, I realize I've been all over the map, and back again.

Here's a synopsis:
Child: Wanted to be a teacher, Shirley Temple or the President of the United States; my mother wanted to take me to auditions but my dad said no.
Jr. High/High School: Wanted to take drama but was not allowed.
Jr. College: Took engineering classes because my dad made me; thought I might want to be an attorney (to blend my love of issues and performing) and got a job at a law office; considered acting school but believed I should be properly educated; started taking improv and acting classes on my own.
College: Dropped engineering for Women's Studies (which cost me the financial support of my dad); thought I might want to be a politician but continued to act; considered getting a masters in education; got feedback from professors that whatever I did should involve writing.
Post-college: Worked at creative agencies as a project manager (and although good at it, I was miserable); enrolled in acting classes and started performing in plays and short films.
Late 20s: Quit my job to be an actress, moved to Los Angeles and planned to give it five years before re-evaluating.
Early 30s: Worked in marketing and got laid off twice and felt like every interview and offer was a death sentence; continued to write scripts and make short films.

Obviously, I have three strong interests: Politics, education and filmmaking. Politics is too nasty for me and frankly I'm not very good at saying the right thing at the right time. I'm also quite happy expressing that part of me on the blog. I decided long ago that I didn't want to be a teacher but the job I'm turning down would have allowed me to make a difference in education with my marketing skills. That made the decision very difficult because unlike other jobs in marketing, this one might have actually fulfilled me.

Filmmaking, though, has definitely persisted as the strongest interest. I remember seeing Goodfellas and Thelma and Louise in the early nineties (Jr. College era) and saying to myself "I'd do anything to make movies like that!" The reason I didn't plunge into it then or at every other opportunity is because of my upbringing, which is a very valuable thing to know. I also noticed something else in my list. All of the careers I've been interested in utilize the skills of communication, performance and persuasion; Teachers, politicians and attorneys all need these skills in abundance. Despite his misguided advice, my dad has told me he recognized these things in me at a very young age.

Of course, even a person who already knows what their talent is and has been put on the path to success could mess it up. What I think is the biggest obstacle to success, however, is fear. I can't imagine what fears might have sabotaged the success of Mozart or Gates or Phelps but I know that I am a long-time victim of fear. Fear is what has kept me in marketing and away from what I really love! I've been hiding in jobs instead of taking the plunge into the unknown, where the things I know are scarier than the things I don't know. The two layoffs might, in retrospect, be seen as the luck and timing I needed because they've made it more difficult for me to hide.

Monday, March 9, 2009

How to have a clean house

When I lived in San Francisco, three people who visited my apartment asked me for the name and number of my cleaning lady. They couldn't believe it when I told them I didn't have one, that I kept my place clean and organized myself. It just so happens that my mother is a clean freak and I was raised to share that responsibility. Like eating healthy and exercising regularly, I've come to realize some of us were lucky to be taught these things by our parents and some of us were not. I don't intend this post to be preachy at all, it just occurred to me that I've been asked on more than one occasion, "How do you do it?" So here is the answer. There are three rules to keeping a clean and tidy house and they seem pretty easy -- stay organized, don't make a mess and clean regularly -- but they can seem next to impossible for some folks. It's about breaking habits and building new ones. These are also in order of importance. If you complete one and two, three is easy. If you don't, three will be so difficult that you won't make it.

1) Stay organized
Part one: Everything has a place that makes sense. It's important that everything belongs somewhere. If you can't put everything away even if you wanted to, then you have too much stuff or not enough places to put it. Also, if there is no absolute clean and tidy state that you aspire to, you will always live in filth and clutter. Additionally, the place where everything goes has to make sense. If it doesn't, you'll never remember where anything is and you make it far more difficult on yourself to remember where things go. I have a stack of attractive boxes in my office that hide ugly office supplies. In the summer, I rotate out winter clothes from my closet and put them in a plastic tub that goes somewhere out of the way. In the kitchen, I have utensils for cooking near the stove, dishes near the sink and silverware near the dishes. Coffee mugs are near the coffee maker as is the coffee and tea, etc. Another advantage of organization is that when other people are at your house, they can put things away for you. Neato!

Part Two: Keep things put away. Now that you have a system of where everything goes, this is much easier. It also forces you to get rid of things. My mom has a rule: if something comes in the house, something else has to go out. Your place is not an eternally empty vessel. Plus, everything in your house collects dust so the most you have, the dirtier your place. I have a box for Goodwill that also sits in the same place all the time. When it's full, I donate the items and bring it back empty. Donations are tax deductive, much less hassle than selling and it helps your community. I don't advocate throwing anything useful in the trash but if that's the only way to get rid of something, do it. Back to putting things away. This is critical. I have a small chair by my closet because I like to pile clothes when I'm trying on outfits but as I said, it's a small chair. It limits how much I can pile before forcing me to hang them up. I know it's a cliché but it really is easier to put things away immediately than to save it for later. Every morning or every night, make it a habit to tidy. Put everything away, do the dishes, hang the towels, etc. It's wonderful for the mind to refresh your environment every day.


2) Don't make a mess
I think people who were raised with mothers who acted as maids (or who didn't clean at all) have a hard time with this one. They're hardwired to believe that someone else will clean up their messes. You have to train yourself, brainwash yourself, to counter these thoughts with the opposite. If you have the thought to throw something on a chair or the floor instead think "put it away!" If you have the thought that a spill or mess doesn't matter or someone else will get it instead think "clean it up!" Taking a minute or two throughout the day to be tidy will save you hours of cleaning on the weekend and give you a cleaner house all the time. The second part of not making a mess is being careful. It just makes sense: if you don't make messes, you won't have as much to clean up. I understand that kids change this picture but these are valuable lessons to teach children as well. Not to chastise but to train. If you make a mess, you have to clean it up so be careful. No one is going to do it for you!

Another aspect of not making a mess is being aware of what's making a mess for you. When it's windy outside, close the windows to keep dust from blowing in. Down furniture and comforters make quite a bit of dust so substitute with synthetic "down" if you're not happy to clean up after it. If you have items in your house that leak or drip or otherwise make a mess regularly, fix them or replace them. Are you tracking in dirt on your shoes? Get a better mat outside for cleaning shoes or take them off at the door.

3) Clean every week
Cleaning has to be part of your regular routine. I tend to do it on Sunday mornings. Those are mornings that I'm not anxious to get out of the house, or anxious to get out of my pajamas. Pajamas are great to wear while cleaning, by the way. They're comfortable, I'm not as worried about getting them dirty and when I'm done, they go in the dirty clothes basket and I go in the shower! I find that cleaning is a great time to get some thinking done and I quite enjoy it. I make my coffee or tea, crank up the music or put on a movie, open the shades to get some light in and get to work. First, I take the sheets off the bed, change the towels in the bathroom and get the laundry started. Then I sweep (or vacuum) and wash the floors (on hands and knees, it's the best way!) After that, I wipe all the surfaces with a damp cloth (no point in dusting before you clean the floor) and scrub sinks, toilets and tubs. If you don't have time to do everything every week, split it into two or even three weekends. The point is to do it on a regular basis. If you have kids, make them help. We always had to help clean the house and my brother and I are both very tidy because of it. I try to keep it simple in terms of equipment. I use a tub that I fill with only a few cups of hot water and change whenever it's dirty and an old kitchen sponge for floors first, then the sinks and last for the toilet, before I throw it away. It's a great time to change the kitchen sponge and throw the old one under the sink for the next weekend. If you clean regularly, the house is not as dirty and this can be done quite quickly. Every week/month, choose one room and move the furniture and clean behind and underneath everything.

I also think we should make an effort to clean with natural products for a couple of reasons:
1) It's better for your health and the health of your family to not use toxic chemicals in the house.
2) It's better for everyone's health if the toxic chemicals you use are not rinsed down the sink into our water supply.
3) It's better for the health of the planet if these toxic chemicals and products are not produced at all as some of them have more toxins in the byproducts than the actual product you're using.

Here's the list of my cleaning products: Hot water, vinegar, baking soda, coconut oil, rubbing alcohol. Kitchen and bathroom floors get hot water with a little bit of vinegar; it's a great disinfectant and leaves no residue to pick up dirt. Hardwood floors are cleaned with a a pea-sized amount of coconut oil in hot water; it conditions the wood and leaves the floor shiny without any residue. I also use coconut oil to clean the stove. It magically dissolves hardened oils without any scrubbing. It's amazing! I use the baking soda to scrub the sink, tub and toilet. You can use rubbing alcohol to clean mirrors instead of glass cleaner. All of these products are cheap, non-toxic and effective. I actually use coconut oil for cooking and for my skin so it's always in my house. I use apple cider vinegar because it smells nice and I keep it around for my salad dressings. I seriously urge you to look at the chemicals in your house and consider whether they are really necessary. A friend of mine started a company, Eco-Me, selling kits online to make your own natural products that are even better! Check out the site for more information on why using natural cleaners is so important.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Using my skills to rebuild America

I don't have to tell you that a lot of people are losing their jobs these days. I was laid off last year from a job that I had just relocated for. It seemed like the perfect time to volunteer my services, expand my skills and network with other people in my field. I was excited to find Taproot, an organization that assembles teams of professionals to tackle a specific need for a non-profit. Taproot utilizes the skills that you've spent your career developing and applies them to non-profits who desperately need but cannot afford your expertise. They've developed a system that keeps the project on track so that it doesn't become more hassle than it's worth. You can request to work for organizations that appeal to you and are able expand your skill set by applying for more than one area of experience.

I've worked in marketing for ten years and while I'd been moving in the direction of being a brand strategist, it wasn't something I could call myself yet. After the orientation, I was interviewed by Account Executives and selected to work on a project in that capacity. Through this experience, I learned about a new business sector, had the opportunity to work with talented people that I would be thrilled to work with again and was able to push myself to deliver a brand strategy that everyone was excited about. Never in the corporate world have I encountered such a pure dedication to a project and to a client. Every time we met as a team, we were impassioned and energetic about what we could do for our client. It showed in the results and in the way we won them over, from skepticism to praise.

Around the same time, I met a woman at a dinner party who worked for an education nonprofit. She'd been thinking about applying for a Taproot grant but hadn't yet done it. I've always been very passionate about education so I volunteered to help her out and ended up writing and producing a brochure and then writing and releasing a press release for her company. They were both great experiences that gave me confidence in tackling something totally new and in being able to commit myself and deliver. As it turned out this company was looking for marketing leadership and were very impressed by the work I did for Taproot. I don't know yet if I have the job but I can say for certain that working and developing my skills was infinitely more valuable and rewarding than sending out resumes.

If you've been inspired by our new president this past month, consider donating your skills to a nonprofit – especially if you've been laid off, your hours cut back or your freelance work has dwindled. Taproot operates in seven cities and needs professionals in project management, marketing, creative services, human resources, information technology and strategy management. Or just volunteer the next time you hear someone say they need help. Let's rise to the challenge set forth by Obama of helping each other make America stronger.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I'll take hope over fear any day

Today on Marketplace, Kai Ryysdal was speaking with Edward Miguel who teaches at the University of California, Berkeley. His most recent book is called "Economic Gangsters." Miguel's commentary on the new appointment for health secretary was focused on how difficult Republicans might make it for Obama's administration to get heath care reforms passed in congress.

One has to wonder if there are more than economic ideology differences at work on either side. Even Rush Limbaugh said about the stimulus plan: "I don't think it's designed to stimulate anything but the Democrat Party." Recent economics research suggests Limbaugh may be right on the politics.

Miguel says that in a recent economic study he conducted in democratic Uruguay, people who directly benefited from government programs enacted during a similar economic crisis were "15 percentage points more likely to voice support for the political party implementing the program." It's certainly not surprising that people would vote for a political party that has made their life better. And isn't that the whole point?

Republican majorities in Congress passed the largest expansion of federal government health spending in decades with the Medicare Prescription Drug Act of 2003, with strong support from President Bush.

The party who bangs the small government drum and cries "socialism!" at the mention of government funded programs? Did they pass this legislation to secure the votes of elderly Americans in the 2008 election? This explains all the animosity, finger-pointing and name-calling towards Obama by the Republicans. They're peeved because the Democrats are poised to steer this ship in a direction the American public might actually be happy about and want to continue on. They're pissed because their guy fucked up and they couldn't come up with anyone genuine enough to make us believe they care.

If Obama's reforms work, it's not just the economy that will get a boost. People will recognize the role government played in their ability to secure benefits like health insurance and reward his party at the ballot box later on. Millions of Americans who came of age in the Great Depression became loyal Democrats for life, rewarding the party that created the New Deal. President Obama promises a new set of programs, starting with the stimulus and extending into health care and beyond.

It starts to become clear, now, what the truth is behind the ugly rantings of Rush Limbaugh. He has said that he hopes the socialistic policies of Obama will fail but contends that he doesn't mean he wants our economy to fail. In the middle of an economic crisis, two wars and impending environmental doom, how is it possible for our President's "policies" to fail without it also adversely affecting everyone in America?

Socialism is a red herring. It's nothing more than a scary word that most Americans don't understand but have been taught to fear. The Republicans have usurped the word and are attaching it to anything Obama does. What is really going on is that the Republicans are afraid that Obama's policies won't fail and that they will make better the lives of millions of Republican Americans who may reward the Democrats with votes for years to come. This is why he can't be trusted.

We should be frightened, Limbaugh says, of someone who is this popular the world over. (Would he say the same thing if he was the subject of so much adoration and optimistic enthusiasm?) Obama is only trying to improve our lives so that we will continue to support him! We should fear a politician who cares what we think, a man who calls for hope, hard work and thoughtful, intelligent solutions.

Naturally the party that was willing to manufacture information about the threat Iraq posed ito launch a costly and unsupported invasion and occupation would be suspicious of someone who seems to be doing what is best for Americans. The same people who ran on a platform of staying in Iraq and Afghanistan for as long as necessary are now criticizing Obama for staying for two more years, calling him a war monger. They are continuing their ever so effective campaign tactic of calling the other guy exactly what they are.

Both parties will tell you that the other lies, cheats and steals to win and has ulterior motives. It seems that by politicians' own admission, none of them can be trusted to care about us. So let's say that all politicians only care about their careers, their party and their reelection and whoever speaks for either party is a willing and eager accomplice. Let's agree that both sides are equal in their motives – pursuing their own ideology at whatever cost to the American people. We are left with two parties, one that is pushing fear and another that is pushing hope. Which do you think will be more productive for our country and our souls? The Republican party is apparently led by Limbaugh, a man who believes our President is violating everything we hold sacred and intends to turn us into a slave state. He preaches fear and hatred and divisiveness.

The other, the Democratic party, is currently led by a Obama, a man who preaches hope and our ability to make the world a better place. He asks us to look into the future and imagine the world we want to live in and then work with each other to make it so. The more the Republicans try to expose the ugliness behind the motives and tactics of the Democrats, the more it just shows us how untrustworthy all politicians are. What they don't understand is that the election of Obama was not about a man, it never is. Americans don't vote for people, we vote for ideas, we vote with our hearts. Fear will never win out over hope. If they tear down Obama, the only thing they can accomplish is to tear down our belief in the government. If they do that, the result will not be Americans rushing to the polls to vote Republican. It may, however, prompt the even more feared specter of a third-party candidate swooping in and stealing our attention and our loyalty. Then things will really get interesting.