Cancer Zero

I've been seeing graffiti that I can actually read lately. I mean English WORDS, sometimes even strung together in a coherent way. I always remember graffiti just being a name (of a gang? a person?) or just some made up word, or not even being able to make out letters. Above the freeway, someone has written "Sex Crime Money Fame" or something like that. What is that? Some kind of commentary? And then I saw this "Ins Cancer Zero" on the back of a truck. Is it a reference to our broken health care system?



I was thinking how genius it would be to actually use graffiti to advertise. Paint up the side of trucks with your message and park them all over town. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than a billboard and let's face it, everyone tries to read graffiti. But just as I was thinking I was clever, it occurred to me that maybe I had this idea because someone is already doing it.

Happiness sells (more than sex)

I walked on the beach today. I had the week off between jobs and took the opportunity to visit the beach without the crowd. I put on my running shoes and clothes, grabbed my iPod and headed out. It was glorious.

I was feeling so good that I was singing out loud, I think I skipped and danced a little while I was walking, and at one point I found a swing set. I blasted my tunes and swung into the big blue sky for a good half hour with a huge smile on my face. There are times in life when I thank God I'm a woman and able to do things like that without being considered a freak. (Then again, the men are in charge and they could change the rules if they wanted so I don't feel too sorry for them.)

Anyway, I got claps, cheers, waves, smiles and nods of encouragement. I was happy and people wanted to show their support. About 500 yards away, a gorgeous model in a sexy dress was being photographed. She didn't get any attention. (I don't feel sorry for her either).

Money is so gauche

In addition to not being smart enough to hire me, the VP that interviewed me for the position at the company "doing something I was really excited about" was offended by the fact that I took the other position "because they offered more money." How GAUCHE to consider money when looking for a job! Apparently his comment that "we're doing something noble here" should preclude me from even thinking about this job in the same terms as every other job - challenge, enjoyment, perks, money.

Unfortunately, he missed the point. My four hours of interviews and three glowing references should have been his indication of my level of interest. I mentioned the pay cut to EMPHASIZE that I was willing to make that sacrifice for this position (talk about noble). I waited a full 24 hours after my final interview for the job offer. It never came, so I took the other job. I'm glad I did too.

Word to the wise: It's just as important for a company to pitch you. You're more valuable than they are. Without employees, they're nothing and don't you forget it.

"We're doing something noble here."

A true sequence of events in my job search:

FRIDAY
I find a company doing what I want to be doing and I say to myself "I want to work for that company!"

TUESDAY
I get a job notice that this company is hiring! The job is not exactly what I want to be doing but I really want to work for this company. I send my resume and a nice letter.

THURSDAY
At a networking group and I mention it to a friend. Turns out, her boyfriend knows the VP that's hiring the position.

FRIDAY
My friend's boyfriend refers me.

TUESDAY
A woman at the company calls me and right away tells me the position pays thirty thousand less than I'm currently making - something that has been a concern for other applicants. I tell her I'd like to consider it anyway, since it's something I'm so interested in. We talk for an hour and she's wonderful.

She sets up an appointment for me to interview with the guy I'd be working for.

WEDNESDAY
She calls to say that he wants to see me sooner and moves the appointment up.

FRIDAY
The day of the interview, the VP changes the time and I'm kept waiting 15 minutes. By the time I get in the room with the guy, we only have a few minutes as he has another appt. He asks me to follow up with some details in an email.

MONDAY
I send the requested follow up email and mention that I considered this job despite the $30k pay cut because I expected to be excited by his vision but our mini-interview didn't allow for that. I also add that I've been offered another job and if he's interested, I'd like him to call.

I get a response right away. "Very impressive" it says. Then I get a call. It's him. He apologizes for giving me so little time before but explains that they're working on very important things.

We talk for an hour and he asks me a lot of high-level questions, the kind of things that no one in his price range would have an answer to. I'm not even sure most people in MY price range would have answers. He scoffs at my other offer, retorting that "we're doing something noble here."

He says they're making a decision by Thursday and after probing, says they're considering me and one other person.

I get an email asking for the names of three references.

TUESDAY
I get emails and IMs from my old bosses telling me that they've given me glowing reviews and I should be getting the offer soon.

WEDNESDAY
An email from the VP states that I got three "brilliant references" and will be getting another call to interview with some more people.

The subsequent interview is a joke, two ladies who don't feel it necessary to explain who they are, what they do at the company or why they are part of this hiring process. They start with "so tell us a little about yourself" and I'm starting to think after going through all this rigmarole there had better be an offer at the end of it.

THURSDAY
I receive NO follow-up to the last interview. I wait 24 hours and then send an email saying I really enjoyed meeting them, the company is doing some great things but I've taken the other job.

I receive a very quick reply "Okay, thanks."

Billboards of naked women

I moved recently and my new work commute is mostly freeway. It's a much nicer commute, even when there's traffic because everyone on the freeway is doing the same thing, more or less, going straight ahead. But one thing I just realized that I don't encounter anymore are the billboards of naked women (and bad TV shows). There was a period of time when I was outraged, every morning, by a barrage of skin and bones Mischa Barton, giant breasts in a guys face for Two and a Half Men (they're raising a kid, get it? it's HILARIOUS!), an extreme closeup on a models pouting lips (selling a car of course) - well, you get the picture.

But then today I saw this billboard:

Whose genius idea is this movie? I don't even know where to start. We've got two actors known for choosing bizarre/bad/downright tacky roles, a white girl on a chain held by a much older black man, the follow-up film from the white director of "Hustle & Flow" (also a depressing movie with degrading female roles) and the name "Black Snake Moan." I presume that is supposed to sound as sexual as possible with the black snake of course being his penis and the moan is what happens when he uses it? Am I the only disturbed by this? I don't know, I guess I'm one of those people who wants a film to be uplifting, liberating or jeez, at least a meaningful commentary on something. Maybe this is but I will probably never see it.

Why do we have to work?

I've interviewed for a couple of good positions but I've already given notice. YAY! I'm free! I got an offer from one company who really want me, they want me to start right away and they're offering me good money. However, there's another company that's doing something I'm really excited about but they haven't made me an offer yet, and they're putting me through the ringer. Apparently, even though it pays thirty THOUSAND less than the other position, a lot of people really want this job.

So even though I'm free, now comes the stress.

Here's what I'm dealing with.
1) I don't want to work at all. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WORK?
2) I'm leaving an easy job that pays well because I can't settle into the mediocrity like everyone else.
3) I'm terrified to take the job that really wants me because there's so much responsibility.
4) I think I really want this other job but I wonder if I'm an idiot for wanting it.
5) I had to put off the good offer even though they wanted an answer right away and I had to lie to do it. And I feel awful about that.

People's perception of the job search isn't much different from their perception of relationships. Do I want the job I haven't been offered because it's harder to get and I haven't been offered it yet? When I tell people about the job, there are people who are just happy for me. Others encourage me to keep looking - there's so much out there. And some people think it's okay to keep one in the dark while you investigate your options but that makes me feel like a cheat. Isn't that weird? Everything is the same.

A story for The Purple Cow

The Purple Cow is a great book about the uselessness of "marketing" your product. Instead, focus on making your product remarkable. A remarkable product sells itself.

So, one day I wake up and I can't move my neck. It's not the first time this has happened. I've had chronic neck soreness. A couple of years prior I visited a chiropractor after one of these sessions and he asked me how often I wake up with neck pain. "Uh...every day" I answered. Apparently, that is not common. The chiro adjusted me, I didn't feel better, and he wanted me to come back at least six times without explanation. Needless to say, I didn't.

Cut to present day and I was at the gym and on the way in, said to myself, "I need to find a chiropractor." Then I see a couple of ladies giving a demonstration on myo-something having to do with the stiffness of my muscles around the spine, pulling the spine out of place. Turns out there's a chiro in the gym and the next day I had an appointment.

I went a couple of times and the first few sessions were focused on educating me about my spine. I watched videos, I read pamphlets, I was x-rayed. While waiting for my appointments, I read testimonials. After a couple of treatments - adjustments, massage, ice packs, stretches - I'm feeling better. I was presented with a bill for a year's worth of treatment. Guess what? I bought it. THAT'S good marketing.

I'm a thoughtful observer

I clicked on one of those top banner links in Gmail one day: Clandestine Careers with the CIA. Who wouldn't click on it? Clandestine just happens to be one of my favorite words. So I clicked on the banner and it took me to this hilarious site, a personality test by the CIA (just for fun!)

Top 10 signs you may not work for a real company

My work friend and I have spent the last year trying to figure out what's wrong with the company we work for. In every conversation we make reference to how different it would be in a "real" company.

Here are the top ten signs that you may not be working for a real company either.

10. You've heard people discuss leadership and vision like children killed in a tragic fire.

9. You've had three or more bosses in a one-year period and at least one of them was fired.

8. You've watched people get made-up titles for positions that have no job description and that no one held before them.

7. When people leave, no one is ever hired to replace them.

6. More time is spent celebrating birthdays, attending HR training and being updated on new policy (all of which are mandatory) than doing"work".

5. There are no performance criteria to be measured against at your annual review. If you're a "real" person working at this fake company, most of your discussion will revolve around how you can better play with others.

4. The CEO is someone who is rarely seen or heard from. During the annual presentation of how well the company is doing, he makes more references to powerful people that are his friends than to any of the employees.

3. The company has no tracking in place to optimize their efforts. Questions about budgets and profits are met with horrified looks.

2. You're the only one surprised that there are entire departments consisting of one person.

1. Everyone is always asking "Whose job is it to..."?

Faking it

Advertising just doesn't work anymore. The Purple Cow is one of the best books on this subject. Consumers are saturated and advertisers are trying to come up with ways to make their marketing relevant, integrated, organic and personalized. The Mini Cooper has based their entire brand on personalization. Get exactly the car you want, design it online, you're unique, "Build your own Mini."

But a lot of what goes on in the world, not just in advertising, is a phenomenon I call faking it. It's where a person or company sees something valuable but they don't understand WHY it's valuable or how it works. They copy it but because they don't understand it, the copy is wrong and it fails. So at the moment, everyone is doing the personalization thing but they don't necessarily get it.

One of the worst, in my opinion, is "Say it With Altoids." It's this bizarre banner ad and mini site campaign where you can write a haiku and send someone else's haiku to another person. Why on earth would anyone other than "Bryce" want to receive "Bryce, choose Sara, she deserves it. Hillary"? And the process of submitting one and having it approved by Altoids so you can go BACK to the dumb site and find it, is just ridiculous.

The New York Times wrote that Wilkes University just launched a really fun personalization idea - they're using actual applicants names in their ads to convince students to choose Wilkes. Watch here.

A friend in the company of enemies

The first season of The West Wing is so fantastic. I can't recommend it highly enough. I've never watched a TV show that was at once entertaining, moving and educational. I'm so inspired to get back into politics and have a renewed interest to listening to anything the president's staff has to say on NPR in the mornings. In fact, I'm more interested in what the president has to say and I haven't listened to that guy in years.

There are so many quotable quotes and I'm constantly thinking how much this show reminds me of my work situation. I work at a mediocre company with a mediocre product. The company was once different and new and made money so no one ever told them that they were doing it wrong. No one ever pointed out that promoting from within can be a bad move if no one working there has ever worked anywhere else. No one ever thought competitively or wondered how to get ahead because they were already ahead. And then they weren't. And now they really aren't.

I've become really good friends with a co-worker there - we've bonded over our mutual brightness and too-good-for-the-company-ness. But despite hating it, we've given almost a year of our lives out of some kind of nihilistic desire to fix the place. We have succeeded but the change and growth is at such an incremental level. It's like getting crumbs that keep you from starving to death but all the while, you're starving. Just not to death. But almost to death.

We're praised for our good ideas but swatted back into our place if we challenge someone else's ideas. We're "allowed" to work on projects the way we want but then given no support so it's more work than it's worth. Sometimes we're just flat out attacked or insulted for being who we are. One night watching The West Wing a character said to Charlie, the president's aide who was the target of an assassination attempt for dating the president's daughter:

"If they're shooting at you, you know you're doing something right."

Damn right.

I've become a LaLa evangelist

LaLa was in Beta long before I got on. In fact, I was invited by a couple of friends months before I tried it. I didn't feel like looking at something new. I get invited to try stuff all the time. Join this! Do this! Be my friend! It's tiring and much of the time, nauseating. I can't even keep up with email and phone calls. So the idea behind LaLa is this: Trade your CDs with other people, the more you send, the more you receive and it costs $1.75 each.

One day I was at my mom's house and she said something about how she had so many CDs she had to start putting them in boxes so she didn't even know what she had anymore and she was pretty sure she didn't like many of them. She also kept a list of music that she wanted to buy and for months I had been telling her to make a wishlist on Amazon so I could buy them for her. All of a sudden it clicks. I'll trade them on LaLa for CDs that she wants! I joined in October and in four months I've traded 156 CDs and almost completely overturned my CD collection. My mom gets a stack of new music every time I visit and she's thrilled. I've become a LaLa evangelist.