I've said it once and I'll say it again: I miss letters

I got a lot of reaction to my post on cell phone mommies. Some comments came directly to me in email and all of them were saying that I should be more compassionate towards moms and parents. I never intended to be one of those judgmental people that think they know how to raise kids. A friend explained to me that getting the kid in a stroller sometimes is the only time a woman can have quiet time to get some adult interaction. I can dig it. I just remember getting a lot of attention from my mom. She talked to us, sang to us, took us to the park and on walks, made us food, played music and read books.


So I noticed that the global phenomenon of increased methods of communication that go with us everywhere has led to more chatter - in L.A. nearly everyone in the car is also on the phone - it makes me curious to know what the generation of kids growing up in this chatter will be like. I just joined Facebook after getting the sales pitch from several friends. I've already had a couple of conversations with people on it that I wouldn't talk to on the phone and haven't talked to in email, we just haven't been that close. Which means, we're trying to keep in touch with a lot more people than we used to.

In high school I had penpals in Europe that I wrote letters to. I corresponded with my grandmother in Ohio and a couple of friends in other parts of the world through the mail and they were special relationships. Catching up on the phone was a big deal, and you had to actual be home to do it. I had less friends than I do now, but the same number (and for the most part the same actual friends!) of close friends because despite the cell phone, email or Facebook, I can still only be close to the same number of people. One of the mommy comments was from a friend in Spain who wrote that he came home from work one day to find his wife and newborn crying together because after an hour and a half of trying to calm his baby, his wife had become desperate. It broke my heart and made me appreciate that we're in touch through the blog, although in 1989, we used to write letters!

I'm not talking to you

Every morning, an army of mommies set out with their kids in strollers to walk around Santa Monica. I see them on my way to work. But something strikes me as odd: they're all on the phone. Facing them in the stroller, the babies and toddlers look for some kind of engagement but mom is on the phone to someone else.

My neighbors have a newborn. Ben is nine weeks old and cries a lot. His mom has people over all the time, other moms, or is on the phone. She talks all day long to other people. The only thing I ever hear her say to Ben is "shhhhhhhh." One day I went by and he was napping on one couch while she laid on the other and read a book. I know that having a newborn can be overwhelming but I also know that bonding with the mother through touch, eye contact and speech is critical. I can't help but wonder if Ben cries because he's not getting enough of those things.

What kind of kids will this cell phone generation grow up to be? Will they be ultra-demanding, stupid, distracted, or just cell phone addicts as well? I have to believe that people spend more time on the phone as a result of the mobility. Certainly we don't have more to say, do we? Nothing crucial is happening on these phone calls, we're just using them for entertainment and a way to avoid doing something else, like paying attention to our children.

Put your money where your ear is

In college, I signed up for long distance (telephone) service with a new company called Working Assets. Their big promotional campaign was sign up and get a free pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. One percent of the bill goes to a good cause of your choice. Round up your payment and those pennies add up to a sizable donation, making it easy to make a difference.

When I got a cell phone, in 1999, I gave up my land line and never looked back. I've been with Sprint the entire time and while I've been happy with the reception, they charge too much and I don't care for their customer service. I never left them, however, because I didn't want to lose my phone number. Then when it became possible to take the phone number to another provider, I couldn't find any that were better.

One day, I got an email from Amnesty International (I've been meaning to write about their email communications because they're excellent) with a promotion for Working Assets...WIRELESS! This is the best deal on the planet. I get a free phone (and an update to Bluetooth, web and camera), they buy out my old contract with Sprint, they're on the Sprint network but offer cheaper plans AND 1% of my bill goes to a cause of my choice.

I called the customer service to get signed up and my sales representative was so nice. Kim explained everything, gave me all my options and was very patient while I made up my mind. I can't wait to get my cool new phone. If you want to give your provider the boot, get a free phone and make a difference, consider giving Working Assets a try.